What is the worst emotional pain you ever felt as an adult?
08.06.2025 00:06
Later, my Dad developed dementia mostly due to the dialysis treatments. However, Dad was always very kind, unlike the crazy stories you hear about people with dementia. Even when he didn’t know who he was, he was kind to everyone.
I called Mom and attempted to get her to bring Dad over. I even told her that she could come with him and that it would be fun. I found a dialysis center a few blocks from my house. Mom loves traveling so at least temporarily it would have been nice. I even convinced my sister, who is extremely enmeshed with Mom. I told her that the burden of caring for our elderly parents didn’t have to fall on her solely and that I would not work just to care for Dad and basically entertain mother. My sister thought it was wonderful; or at least she said so.
I’m at peace with Dad’s passing now. This was the strongest emotional pain that I’ve ever experienced in my life, so far. Dad and I were very close and despite Mom always trying to make wedges in our relationship, she failed miserably.
I will always be grateful for having a kind-hearted father. He was more than a Dad to me. He was my best friend and someone who never judged me; no matter what I said or did. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. ♥️
When my father passed away. It was the worst emotional pain I ever felt in my life.
I was always very involved with Dad’s health and I’ve been upfront with him. About 8–9 years prior to my move Dad experienced kidney failure. I remember going to the doctor with him and explaining to him that if he wanted to prolong his life he needed to go on dialysis. He opted for dialysis and told me he wanted to live. His very 1st surgery ever was in his 80’s for a port in his arm for dialysis treatments.
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Then at home she was very cruel and disgusting towards him. Ironically, my sister also picked up such nasty behavior from Mom and added to the cruelty. Fuck, whatever you do stay away from sadistic female covert narcissists. I have never witnessed anything like this in my entire life!
About a year later, my husband and I were on a date. We were walking around the Stillwater shops when we saw a big purple sign for a psychic reading. My husband is agnostic due to the way he was raised which is a whole other story. However, he doesn’t believe in this sort of thing and has always said it’s nothing but a scam. I convinced him that we book an hour. He said, “I’ll go with you, but I’m not letting anyone read me anything!” I said, fine!” That hour was a life changer. I must say that my husband is right, and there are many scammers out there claiming to see, hear, and do things they can’t possibly do.
I recall one night that I was over at Mom’s house and he was in bed. He started calling Mom and saying that he didn’t want to be alone. She told him to shut up and go to sleep. She didn’t care and continued watching some dumb movie with my sister. I got up and laid down next to Dad. We talked. Dad always recognized me, which really pissed my Mom and sister off, because even though he lived with them he didn’t recognize them at times. He went to sleep shortly after our talk.
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Shortly afterwards, I decided I would go no contact with my mother. I have zero interest in ever talking to her again. She is dead to me. Ironically, she did send me a message with my sister saying that she feels like I’ve buried her alive. I had a talk with my therapist about this and he said, “Of course she does, because she has no life without you in it!” I don’t know why but it somehow felt good and yes, she is dead to me.
About a year after my move to Minnesota, Dad had a very bad reaction to one dialysis treatment. He was very weak and even though this is normal for any dialysis patient; it’s even more normal for a person in their 80’s.
Mom called me back afterwards and told me that Dad was too weak to travel because she and all of my siblings decided to stop the dialysis treatments and that he was dying. She did this on purpose and exclusively to hurt me. I told her, “You need to be a woman and stop hiding behind everyone else. You made the decision to end his life, but you are such a piece of sh*t that you must put my siblings in front of that decision. You are an excuse for a woman, a person, a human being!” She laughed! I’m sure that she could feel my pain through the phone and this was bliss to her. My father peacefully passed away 3 days later according to my brother; the one born 14 months after me. This is the only sibling I have that I fully trust.
After being discharged, I went home and my kids felt better. My oldest daughter told me that she wouldn’t know what to do if something happened to me. I started holding sips of water but still couldn’t even look at food. I didn’t eat anything for 23 days. After that I started having soup.
My Dad was already sick and we “my family” were expecting him to pass away soon.
Upon the news of Dad’s passing I started vomiting. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t eat or drink anything at all. For 7 days, if I only took a sip of water, I’d vomit. I truly couldn’t believe that my mother could do something so evil and so wrong. In my eyes, she killed him. I understood that she caused a premature death just to hurt me; and hurt me, she did.
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Mom enjoyed the attention she got from doctors and nurses by caring for Dad. Yes, she would perform the most ridiculous acts of kindness just to get praise. This really upset me because none of it was genuine and no one could see it but me. It would make me sick to my stomach just to endure such pity parties.
After a week of not eating or drinking and crying on and off, my heart started hurting horribly. My children began to worry about me and my oldest told me to go to the hospital. I did. Ironically, the doctors in the hospital thought that I may be having a heart attack. They did countless tests which all came back negative for a heart attack. I was very dehydrated and was placed on an IV. Then one of the doctors came to talk to me and I explained to him everything about my Dad’s passing. He told me, “You are not having a heart attack, you have a broken heart!” 💔 He got up and hugged me as I cried.
I talked to Dad on FaceTime. He immediately recognized me and said, you are J… my oldest daughter. I smiled and said yes! He named each of my 5 children and talked about them. He told me he wanted to come live with me. I said, yes. Then he asked me who was that lady sitting next to him. It was my sister. This upset her and she hung up the call.
Mom called me immediately because she wanted me to drop everything in my life and go fly over there. Her excuse was that Dad needed me. This was a lie! She just felt lost without me because she is that manipulative and cunning of a person. I told her that I couldn’t, but that I would make plans to go in a few months. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. A few days later she called me with Dad on video and told me that my father was going to die.
I was still in contact with my mother at this time just because I didn’t want to lose all contact with Dad. However, I had recently moved from Florida to Minnesota.
This man started talking about a male presence in my life. He said, “There is a man, an older man who says mean things to you and pulls your hair.” Then he said, “Oh wait, he does this but it’s not in a malicious way. He loves you so much! He does it in a playful way.” My husband said, “Yes, that’s her father” Then without me saying a word, the psychic said, “Something terrible happened and you are very upset. It’s something involving his death. He wants you to know that he was ready to go and he was okay with it!” I know my father would want me to be happy and okay with it, even if he wasn’t. This man knows nothing about me. By the end of the reading, my husband who doesn’t believe in this sort of thing; believes that at the very least he was the real deal and not a scammer.